While I adore this time of year, sometimes the holidays drudge up some interesting thoughts in my head. At 27, I think a little deeper than I did in my college days. I'm probably not the only one thinking some of these thoughts, so it's my time to share them with you.
-I confess that I'm jealous of those with close families. While all families have dysfunctions of some kind, I have some significant ones that makes seeing family a little bit harder at the holidays.
-I confess my family difficulties have made me scared I will be a bad mother by unwillingly repeating my own experiences. Based solely on the fact that I have been through certain things or was raised in a particular way, I'm deathly afraid that I will repeat negative experiences, feelings, or morals.
-I confess that, speaking of kids, I don't know if I want to have any. There are a million reasons and fears behind this. I won't go into them all, but I'm only 27. These days that's still young. I know you love your children dearly when you have them...that doesn't mean I need to have them when I'm not ready.
-I confess that even though I may not want kids, I totally have names picked out. Yep. There's that.
-I confess that I think about the kids/no kids debate a lot.
-I confess that I have never felt fitter and healthier in my life. It is probably one of the best feelings in the world.
-I confess that I would rather spend money on clothes than I would getting my hair done. This sadly makes my hair suffer dearly.
-I confess that I adore working with kids, but I do not like to be around children in my own personal time.
-I confess that I am totally selfish and have to make a significant effort to show D that I appreciate & love him. Sometimes I get so caught up in me. What I want, my laziness, my plans. Even if it is just making sure he comes home to a semi-clean house after a trip, it really is the small things. I will likely always be working on this, but it's important to me to try to do a better job since he does so much for me.
That's all I've got for now (but trust me, I could go on).
What are your confessions?