I consider myself to be extremely lucky. While I don't often acknowledge it, I really am. I have an amazing husband who is employed in a job/career he adores, and he gets paid well. I don't get paid well, but I have a job (
unlike almost 9% of other Americans). I'm lucky that I have two degrees and decent experience in fields that are typically easier to find jobs (
in case we ever move again). I'm lucky that we have a house and cars. I'm lucky to live in the
best city to live in the United States. I'm lucky to have four healthy pets. I'm lucky we have had amazing opportunities to travel. I am definitely lucky.
Sometimes I have to just get real though. I get depressed about my financial situation often enough. As much as I adore the blogging world, it has a way of contributing to the depression. It can be hard to see amazing fashion posts, instagram pics, and tweets of bloggers' newest, expensive (
or cheap but substantially large) purchases. Sure, I'm jealous, envious, and the like. It makes me reminisce on those days of working my first full-time, salaried job. I blew money on all the designer digs, shoes, frivilous items I wanted. It was amazing. I mostly limit myself to a teeny, tiny budget to buy one to two new fashion pieces per monthly paycheck. Some fashions/trends can be recreated with budget pieces. Others can't. I just wish I did not have to be so thrifty with my (
minimal) spending. I want to be able to splurge on that $150 item that was marked down from $400.
While I took out my student loans, chose my own (
low paying) career, and saved poorly, it often feels like a neverending cycle. Will I ever pay off student loans? Will I ever get a raise (
none for teachers/public sector workers in five years I believe)? It's frustrating when the cycle seems like it will never change (
you know seeing that last loan payment date as 2025...what?!). I joked with D the other day that if we ever had kids (
no, no, no, we're not even considering it! You know how I feel about that...those opinions have not changed) we would have to sell our pets because we couldn't afford both. I seriously could not imagine how we could ever afford a child in the next five years minimum.
Nonetheless, I am lucky (
plus I have paid off my credit cards!). When I have a little too much time on my hands, I start browsing blogs more. I start thinking and thinking myself in circles. All this thinking coincides with my increased student loan payments beginning next month. The crazy thing is...I'm not so despressed about not being able to buy all the fabulous designer pieces I see everyone wearing. I'm more depressed about the thought that I may not get to travel as much because you know
that's my thing.
[Except it can when that dream is traveling or college or having a career that requires college or owning a house or...]