Neglect.

Remember all those wonderful posts I had lined up and was telling you about?  As you can see, they did not even happen :(  The holidays kill me from any type of productivity (that does not include putting up Christmas decorations).  Speaking of Christmas decor...

[Sorry for poor iphone quality...but LIGHTS!]

This is how D and I spent our Saturday following Thanksgiving.  And trust...I have been listening to 24/7  Christmas music (minus commercial time and boring chatter in the am...ugh HATE regular radio).  Since we're new homeowners, we don't own a tall ladder and such yet.  Next year, I'm considering rope lights along the top of the house or at least the top of the front porch.  We also have this mini fence down by the road that I'd like to light up.  Not sure if I'm into finding an extension cord that long though.

In a quick update to get my mind off stress (yes...middle schoolers are still making me a basketcase), I bought my first groupon a couple of weeks ago.  They had a $25 groupon to American Apparel for $50 worth of merchandise online!  Yay!  I couldn't say no.  Unfortunately they didn't allow the coupon to be used with lots of wonderful items like shoes and their California Select Vintage selection.  They had some shoes that I was really eying :(  Although it didn't note this on the coupon, apparently it was not eligible towards nail polishes either.  Bummer!  Here's what I ended up purchasing...

 [I've only been waiting forever to profess my political views via t-shirt!]

I got the asphalt color.  It was also buy 1 get 1 free where they send you a second surprise item.  I haven't gotten it yet, so I'm SUPER excited.  It felt like I was sort of getting this all for free :)

 

 [The Unisex Circle Scarf, $28]

 

I've seriously had my eye on this for a couple of years.  I got the coral colored (which I guess they have sold out of since it is no longer listed).  I opted for coral in an effort to dress up my gray, black, and brown winter wardrobe.  When I received the scarf (which was back ordered and somehow arrived before my shirts?!), I found that the coral just does not pair well with most pieces I have.  Maybe I am just in a wardrobe funk (which I am a little since I have not bought any un-thrifted clothing in forever), but HELP!  Would you even wear coral in the winter??  I did pair it with a navy summer dress (paired with tights and a jacket).  One of my students said I looked tacky.  It was a lot of prints and colors going on...  I'm going out to dinner with D and thinking of just pairing it with a simple white button down and black jeans (my go to outfit).

 

 [Polish in Hunter, $6]

 

I rounded out my order with a nice dark nail polish.  I'm flush on summer springy colors, so I am super excited to have a dark winter polish!  Yay for a couple new things! 

Be brave.

Those were D's words on that fateful day that I decided to talk to my principal about interviewing for another job.  I did it.  I definitely walked back and forth from the office two times before I actually went through with it.  I couldn't be more proud of myself.  This resulted in a thrilling last day before my Thanksgiving holidays.  I spoke with the assistant principal at the prospective school and hopefully will have an interview scheduled next week.  I also got really encouraging news from a friend who works at the school.   

I really apologize for not updating more!  I was hoping to have some spare time over the holidays, but we're actually keeping ourselves pretty busy.  I've got some Thanksgiving food posts, a shopping post, and just some general updates.  I brought work stuff home to do over the holidays as well.  Now it's about time for me to get started on my Thanksgiving cooking!  Happy Thanksgiving!

Ahhhhh!

On Friday night, I found out I DO have the opportunity to interview for that teaching position. This has been a weekend full of debating and thinking! I had totally come to terms with my current position and sticking it out. I made a pros and cons list. They're equal. The catch is that I have to talk to my principal first (before interviewing). I'm so nervous about this. Literally the only thing holding me back is leaving my students and my special Ed teaching team high and dry. But I feel like this is a wonderful opportunity for me to be at an elementary school, try something new, and be somewhere that I know wants me. Ah! Decisions!

Sent from my iPhone

Details.

The title of this post is deceiving.  You may be thinking I'd post some pretty house pictures with details of small things that are fabulous.  Instead it's the little details in my mind I need to post about.  My mind is reeling.  Now that I found out the interview is a no-go, I need to start figuring out my next moves!  What I do know is this:

• I do not want to teach what I am teaching now again (7th and 8th grade Math and Language Arts)
• I do want to teach elementary school
• I am interested in teaching "life skills" within an elementary school (extremely low functioning children who are most likely severely disabled in one or more areas...intelligence, learning, physically, etc.)
• I could love it or hate it (teaching life skills)

So...I'm a little stumped.  I know very few of you know about/care about any of this; however it is a big/expensive decision.  Once I finish my teaching certification (in general special education), I can taking a teaching knowledge test, the Praxis, to gain additional certification areas.  Last summer I passed the Middle Grades Language Arts and Math Praxis tests.  The problem is that each test costs about $70-90 a pop plus a $50 registration fee.  WTF?!  If I wanted to take the elementary tests (two required) to enable myself to teach K-6 grades (regular education not special), I would have to dish out over $200.  If I want to take the Praxis to teach life skills (which is different than my current special education certification), I'd have to take another $100+ test.  I need to choose!  I still think I would love teaching special education, but I long to have that classroom full of students of my own that stay with me almost all day.  There is still a larger probability of special education job openings, but I want to be available for any elementary position.  Ah....decisions.

Just a few reasons why I HAVE to teach elementary school...

[Ps. This post is not to be misunderstood to mean that I want children anytime soon (if ever) because I certainly do not.]

All images via weheartit.

Living without cable is kind of nice.

It's amazing that I really don't mind not having TV.  I sort of thought it would be the death of me.  I can watch all my "important" shows (read: Gossip Girl, Modern Family, and any NBC Thursday night show) on Hulu.  I told D the only thing I really miss is (brace yourselves) Real Housewives.  I can't find all the eps on Bravo and really miss the catty reunions!  I do get annoyed having to wait an entire week for Gossip Girl to be posted online.  Nonetheless, we have Netflix and can watch so many shows/movies instantly.  One of my new favorite shows is BBC's Skins.

I'm sort of obsessed.  (Anyone watch it?!)  It's kind of a teen drama except since it's BBC, they show a lot more drug use, sex, boobs, and cuss a lot.  It is fabulous.  To my knowledge there are only three seasons though, and the characters from the first two seasons leave after the second season.  I'll need to fins a new show once I finish Skins in probably a week.

I haven't just been watching trashy teen drama though!  I told you I was reading like a maniac.  Last updated I was reading Life of Pi.  I already finished that shit!  I have to say though, I wasn't super impressed.  Maybe others built it up for me.  Don't get me wrong.  I definitely wanted to keep reading and not put the book down.  The end just didn't wow me.  It's definitely worth a read though!  Since Life of Pi, I've moved on to American Psycho.

I'm not sure what I expected, but this book is weird.  It's posing to be a hard read for me for a couple of reasons.  There are a LOT of filler information.  The narrator feels the need to tell you every single designer brand of every single article of clothing, shoes, jewelery, etc. on each character in each scene.  There was literally a whole chapter on the band Genesis.  I'm still confused about what this had to do with anything.  The book also has a lot of pages with small print and lots of words.  I'm not flying through it as I thought I would.  There are also some very graphic sex scenes.  I don't necessarily have a problem with the sex scenes, but they were totally unexpected for me.  Gossip Girl totally referenced the book last Monday...love.  I'll let you know how I feel after I'm done reading.

Also, apparently there is an American Psycho movie.  Not sure how I missed this, but Christian Bale is the main character.  If that picture doesn't freak you out a bit, you are dead to the world.  I don't necessarily picture the narrator/psycho as Christian (maybe I can only have him as Batman), but this picture freaks me the fuck out.  Next on my list is Brave New World and Ham on Rye.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Everyone always wants the bad news first.  I got an email today (finally) from the AP of the elementary school regarding the interview.  AP stated after talking to the principal about protocol of interviewing within county (especially mid-year), it was decided, as a respect to colleagues, that I should not be interviewed at this time.  It is totally and completely understandable but still felt like a tiny bit of a blow since I had gotten my hopes up.  No hard feelings though...it's pretty shitty to "steal" another teacher from a school and leave them high and dry.  If I did leave mid-year, I think there may always be a twinge of guilt and feeling of giving up.  I'm not a quitter! (Although I'd love to leave my one particular class of hellions in my dust).

On to the good!  The AP said that they really want to have me at this particular school and to PLEASE (she literally capitalized please) keep them in mind for next year!  Yay :)  It's good to know that higher ups have me in mind as a candidate for positions.  It's a really wonderful feeling.  AND in other fabulous news...

[Holy effing crap, I can not even wait]

I got our tickets to see Harry Potter!!!  I opted for the Sunday 1:00 show.  I know it'll still be crazy packed, but I thought it may be a little lighter than Friday or Saturday shows.  The Sunday 4:00 show at the IMAX in Raleigh is already sold out though.  Who cares about a line?!  I may even get there an hour early.  OMG.  For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past six months...

This is serious.  I am ridiculously excited!

I didn't think I had any "ugly" at first.  Then I got to thinking about school.  Can I please say how unpleasant some of the teachers are?!  There is one who is so rude and condescending towards me.  I'm not sure if it's because I am new, young, a female, or what.  I can't seem to win with this teacher.  They all seem to greatly dislike the administration (principal and assistance principals).  I don't understand why they stay at this school if they hate it there.  Then there is the other staff (front desk, custodial, etc.) who are just plan rude to you and act like anything you ask of them is an inconvenience.  I don't get it.  Is it me? 

To end on a positive Harry-themed note...how crazy/awesome is this...

[Wow.]

The little runner who could.

Remember back in October when I signed up for the Monster Dash?  Well I did it!

[You can't see my cat tail that I ended up with when I searched the Halloween store for 45 minutes...Pre-race]

Well my goal was to not come in last (which the goal quickly changed to finishing without walking).  I'm happy to say I met both goals :)  I don't know what the hell kind of shape I was in before.  It was effing hard to run the entire 5k!  JA and I came around the last corner and had the finish line in sight.  The clock was ticking.  JA gave me a push and said, "Come on, let's make it under 40."  I literally said, "I can't."  I cringe at those words now.  I honestly did not think I could speed up any faster.  I may have sped up a few milliseconds worth; I used all my energy left to cross the finish line.  I made it in at 40 minutes and 10 seconds.  I'm proud of it! We did it.  It was hot as hell at 2:30 with the sun beating down on us.  Next time, I'm going to finish in 39 minutes.  I also get to mark this off my 101 in 1001!

I'm still trying to figure out what D and I are doing for Thanksgiving holidays.  If we stay in Raleigh, JA and I are going to run the Turkey Trot 8k.  I want to stay in Raleigh just to run that :)

Update:  Official times found here stated I came in at 40:11 with a pace of 12:57.

Stress headaches.

You know things are bad when you get a stress headache on a day that you're giving students a test.  I really appreciate all the feedback from last week's post.  My head is a little clearer today (minus the stress headache that is haunting me).  I got advice from friends and family about what I should do/how I should handle the additional teaching opportunity.  Advice was pretty much unanimous that I should at least go for an interview.  Valid points were raised all around.  No harm can be done in an interview.  One of the main benefits (in my head) is that it'll allow me the opportunity to better gauge if that particular job is really a good fit for me.  We'll see. I still haven't had an interview/informal meeting, but keeping my fingers crossed for this week (and she has been in contact with me.

Since I haven't updated in a bit (I'm lucky if I can gather the energy to write one post per week), but I'm taking a bit of down time tonight (which should probably be used to plan but...for lack of a better phrase...fuck it) to schedule some posts for this week.

Let's take a MAJOR rewind to early October when my friend CAP (now, CAPM) got hitched in Athens.  Remember?  Well I finally uploaded my personal pics.  It really was such a wonderful time to reminisce with some people that were a large part of my life (and played a big part in me getting to where I am today).  It makes me wish that I could make it down to Athens more. 

[My long lost KD, now residing in the...interesting? state of Alabama]

[June 2011!  Next to get hitched!]

[Hungry and dreading the long trip home...but we had fun nonetheless]

[Small cakes adorned each table...adorable idea]

[AB to the left is my social worker role model/hero.  KD has a weird obsession with babies...I can not even relate]

[Since we had to jet out quickly, this is the only picture I got with the bride.  She was stunning though!]

As if we all haven't noticed the onslaught of political ads...

It's that time of year again.  Election day!  Just a reminder to inform yourself about the candidates in your area and be a good American and go vote!

[via weheart it]

After the demise that was yesterday's post, I decided I wanted to go back to a year ago and see where I was.  Wow.  It's amazing how things change in one year.  I wasn't married.  I was still fervently looking for a job.  I had just gone through a strenuous process to get accepted to Teach for America only to get rejected. I remember the exact moment that I found out.  I got the email on my phone.  I remember the feelings.  I remember the frustration of feeling like I let D down.  I remember not knowing what I would do next.  Then a few months later, I got a job offer...teaching.  I wish I could send a letter to Teach for America telling them to go fuck themselves.  I won't get started on that again though.  As much frustration that middle school is causing me right now, I really am so grateful.  Goodness knows if I was a part of Teach for America, I'd probably be stuck in a middle school for two whole years.  If I don't switch schools until next school year, at least I have the ability to do it.  We were able to move out of Georgia and I fell in love with Raleigh.  I'm so happy to be able to spend our first winter/holiday season as newlyweds in our new home.  I hope we can spend a bit of money on clearanced xmas decor at Target (because let's face it, we haven't even unpacked...we won't be focusing on xmas decor this year)!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for some snow here too :)

Inspiration downfall.

On Saturday, I mentioned how much I love fall.  Yet today I am feeling without inspiration of something to write about.  I've been too busy to think about decorating our new house.  I've been too tight with money to buy any new clothes or shoes (which I'm dying for shoes right now).  We don't have cable so I'm not watching as much TV.  I've been talking about running in practically every post so I don't want to bore you with that.  I've been eating terribly lately.  I'm still dreaming of traveling somewhere, but I talk about that all the time too.  I'm in a writing slump.  So what has actually been on my mind lately, well I'll summarize:

• Which Praxis test to take next
• I want to teach elementary school, not middle school
• The fact that I want to run a race every month to keep myself motivated to run
• Eating...specifically what I can eat that is terrible for me and cancels out any running I've actually done
• How to survive the rest of this school year/is there anyway I can transfer to another school without burning bridges
• Ray LaMontagne 
• Books I've been reading and movies I've been watching while D has been out of town
• How I should totally be going to classes at the gym, yet I am not
• What the heck I am going to do for xmas gifts this year

Half of this stuff means nothing to you and it's highly probable that you do not even care.  Obviously the majority of my thinking time is spent wondering about school.  I'll be honest...middle school students are not for me. I still love (most of) my students.  I still love teaching.  I still like teaching middle school more than I ever thought I would.  My heart always was with younger children.  I can't handle the attitude and disrespect of middle schoolers.  It's partially my fault; it's partially their fault.  The administration (principal and assistant principals) at my school is unsupportive.  One AP in particular is rude and has mildly humiliated me in front of co-workers.  I'm dealing myself another hand (planning to take Praxis tests to become certified in other areas) and preparing to switch schools as soon as possible.  In my county, there are a couple of positions open that I would die to have.  My problem is that I feel some loyalty to my school.  They hired me in the middle of last year as an uncertified teacher with zero experience teaching.  I unofficially committed a year (or two) to the school.  I'm sure I could sit down with the principal and have a heart to heart about it, but it really doesn't excuse leaving mid-year.  Where does that leave my students too?  Then I also wonder if someone else couldn't do a better job with them than I am currently doing.  Would a better teaching opportunity pass me by because of my loyalties?  I hear the first year being a teacher is the hardest.  I'm not giving up.  I always knew elementary was the place for me.  

Again, sorry for a lackluster post.  I know a lot of this doesn't make sense.  These questions/thoughts/ideas are occupying most of my mind recently. 

To end on another note, I do daily free-writing with my two language arts classes.  They can write about anything, but I also supply them with a topic (since most of them "don't know what to write about" if I just leave it open).  One day the topic was "Finish this phrase, 'Life is like...'"  A few of them said, "Life is like a roller coaster."  They all put different reasons why.  They're right though.  In August/September, I was on an up.  The high lasted even as I was going down.  I was starting the school year, things were going well.  We were happy looking at houses, etc.  I was doing wonderfully working out and felt good about myself again.  Then I hit that dip.  I'm not quite sure what the roller coaster will do next...

 

Sorry for the cheesiness of the roller coaster analogy.  Hopefully inspired posts will be coming soon.