Life Lately :: The sickness I can't kick.

Since last weekend, I've been plagued with a sore throat & a cough that has progressively gotten worse.  This shit seems to happen to my every year.  And it always happens while I'm training for a race.  I've tried to stay off the radar, but I can't quite take any days off work unless absolutely necessary.  I've lost my voice & am pretty scared about not being ready for the half in a month.  I can't quite figure how to avoid this sickness every year.

In the meantime, I've been having some fun!

 [Raleigh Beer Week called for lots of time spent at Tasty Beverage.  The week before was their anniversary celebration.  I attended it all...and surprisingly ate no cheese in the process!]

 [A three day week with the kiddies before they moved up to the big kids class.  After only a little over a month with them...I'm really going to miss {most of} them!  Teacher work days were spent prepping the classroom...calm before the storm.  I give those wall letters a week.]

 [Awesome difference between public & private settings?  Parent appreciation.  Scored some amazing gifts and lots of gift cards.  I'm so lucky.]

 [Some fabulous purchases made with my appreciation gift cards!  I've been coveting these loafers for a month now!]

 [New running shoes finally!  Also courtesy of appreciation gift cards (and a little help from D).  I scored an awesome deal with a coupon & picked up my first pair of compression socks from Omega Sports. Sadly, I can't break them in until this sickness leaves me.  Boo.]

[In an effort to kick the sick, I spent all day Saturday inside reading.  I tried to take advantage of the beautiful weather in the best way I could...]

[The tea is just not doing the job I hoped it would...]

I'm trying to keep up around here in the best way I can!  After being cooped up all weekend, I'm going to try to meet D at the beach tomorrow as he heads back in town.  I have to have at least one day to enjoy the sunshine!  Enjoy your Memorial weekends!

How are you spending your Memorial weekend?

Linking up with these lovelies!

Life lately :: Bites, chickies, & sadness.

D was out of town a few days this week, so I wasn't super productive this week.  I had another pretty shitty week at work, so I spent quite a bit of time drinking and coping in the best way I can.

 [I had a whole month of noting things I'm grateful for as part of my mini-happiness project]

 [The sadness :: North Carolina passes a constitutional amendment allowing discrimination and hate.  It literally makes me sick to my stomach that my state will allow hate to continue to grow in this country.  Not me.  I voted no.]

 [Stocking up on delicious beer at Tasty Beverage Company]

 [See that bruise?  Yeah...that's a bite mark made by one of my students.  Can't imagine it's look if it wouldn't have been made through my pants...]

 [Our baby chickies graduated to the outside coop this weekend!  They're huddled in a tiny corner of the massive coop/run we have for them.  They're still learning...]

[Grilling out fresh fish, from our local seafood market, asparagus, and pineapple on a beautiful weekend]

When the week days suck, we have to make our weekends worth it.  Trust me, this weekend was worth it.  We spent Sunday with plenty of friends and stuffed full of mexican food and margaritas.  Game of Thrones is the best way to end our Sunday.  I am hoping this week will be full of good things and happy thoughts.  Until the weekend comes again where I don't think twice about returning to the work week #thewayitssupposedtobe

I'm linking up with the adorable Hayley today!

Why Monday, why?

Again, I must apologize.  I've been out of blogging and blog reading.  Last week ended up being a week from hell.  I ended up falling into a week of debauchery to attempt to cope with the stress.  Before I give you some snippets of my week, I promise to be back this week to update on my overnight oats, post a kick ass tomato soup recipe for Claire, and add in a surprise for two.  Well, and don't hold me to it if this week is anything like the last...but I promise I'm working on it!

Without further ado, how about a few (I mean literally a few) weekend snippets?

 [Juice cleanse.  Guys...it's expensive to buy that many fruits and veggies]

 [Jeffrey Campbell suede heels out for a week night.  This is huge.  Ps. Send me your tips for wearing heels without killing my feet after a half hour]

[My only Friday night request was wine and a movie.  Much needed]

For the record, no meat January is almost over and this girl can not wait for sushi on Wednesday!

Pondering.

Last month I wrote about figuring out my true passion in life.  I was still baffled about how to pursue my passion without a trust fund or being completely broke.  I was inspired by Stephanie over at Big Mario Life to think a little deeper about my passion.  The idea didn't hit me until this weekend.

Many website recommend taking a "skill" you have and running with that.  Common skills that are easy to travel with are hair cutting and web design.  With two degrees in social work, I don't have many useful skills to travel with.  But wait!  What do I enjoy?  Traveling, yes.  I also enjoy working with children.  While leaving my D and my animal family for a year+ to teach abroad is not realistic, there is another benefit to being a teacher.  I have my summers off.  Would there be anything wrong with finding a 4-8 week summer school program?  There are lots of international teaching programs that pay.  I would also continue to be paid my teaching salary in those off summer months.  Bingo!  Travel+teaching+getting paid.  I think I've discovered a plan. 

I'm doing a bit of research, and I don't anticipate that I would be able to make this a reality within the 2012 year.  Since I'm boring you with lots of words and no pictures, I'll bring this to a close.  Give me your advice though!  Help me make this happen!

Do you know anyone who has taught (not volunteered, although that may be an option I could/would pursue in the future) abroad?


Have you heard of any successful programs for short-term teaching abroad?

Just popping in.

With some snippets of what felt like a marathon week. At least I'm almost not sick anymore.






Halloween bingo at school. Yep, gotta take the easy routes when I can. My students always need "social skills" games.





For real, $4 neon running shirt from Target. Thank you pay day, and I hope to rock this at the half (next Sunday!!), so D won't miss me from the sidelines.





Chilling with KayD and her new baby!






Sort of freaking about my lack of training for the second 8 weeks. I have done every day this week.






Getting the worst set(s) of letters ever in Words with Friends. Really?! But surprisingly, I pulled out a win!





Loving my new Warby Parker specs! And thanks to all who made sweet comments about them! It makes me love them even more.






And finally, this is the collateral damage of a student meltdown today. Seriously.

I'm celebrating the end to this week by dreaming of our upcoming trip to the Bahamas that D booked, relaxing tonight with D, and keeping up with the remainder of training. Next week is a 4 day, short week, so we're on the up and up already!

-BlogPress post

Perfect Monday?

Today actually was pretty perfect.  I had the most amazing birthday weekend that I can remember.  Mostly simple, which is totally me.  D did the most perfect job surprising me with a trip to the beach and some awesome gifts.  I came back super happy and relaxed.

Easing back into the work week and Mondays are never fun.  But I did start my day off with this simple, yet encouraging email...

You may have to enlarge it to really see.  That was a weekly update I sent to treatment professionals, parents, etc.  Then my principal's response.  I've been rambling off tons of reasons to D why I love this job so much more.  This email is just another to confirm.  I feel really lucky to have landed this opportunity.  I talked a lot about my lack of reassurance at my other school.  While I shouldn't rely on that reassurance from others, it sure as hell feels wonderful knowing that others see the hard work I am putting in to this.  I'm definitely still loving this position.


**All names/school/etc. redacted for privacy.**

The job.

Random side note, the first song on my Pandora Mumford & Sons radio was Murder in the City by the Avett Brothers.  I'll take it as a sign.  Still not a day goes by that I don't think about BFW.  D is with BFW's husband for the week and it breaks my heart to hear stories.  My heart is heavy every day for him and the family.

I wanted to tell you a little bit about my new job!  I really have no pictures of anything to correspond with this, so I'll make it brief.  I am a "therapeutic learning" teacher.  Essentially this means that I work with kids with severe emotional and behavioral disabilities.  My classroom basically pulls elementary aged students from all over the county who can not be successful in an SED (emotional disability) self-contained classroom.  I think I was chosen based on my social work degrees/experience.  I was and still am loving the ability to bridge my two passions, teaching and social work, into one career.

Right now, I have three students in my class.  Two are on modified/half day schedules.  Many of my teacher friends do not understand that this does not mean my job is "easy."  Three students, only one being on a full day schedule, does not equate to easy because I only have to grade for three students.  My students can't succeed in even the smallest self-contained special education classrooms.  We have a therapist come in to work with the students.  Academics is not our main focus because it can not be.  The negative behaviors/management of disabilities does not allow academics to be our focus.  I do have to plan for multiple subjects for multiple grade levels (my students are in three different grades now), but my students can't handle 30 minute lessons for each subject.

It has been one full week with all three students being present.  I'm tremendously proud of the kids!  While one of them has a history of violence towards teachers (read: attempting to stab a teacher with a pencil...long story), he had no "episodes," or as I like to call them "adventures," this week.  We only had two adventures and they occurred with the same student.  I'm not surprised based on her disability.  The first one resulted in myself being accidentally scratched and bruised and purposely spit on (hate ending in a preposition, sorry!).  After getting to experience one adventure, I knew much better how to handle the next which occurred Friday.  While this sounds terrible, I've really enjoyed it so far.  The only frustrating part is trying to understand how to teach the students to cope with & manage their anger before it turns to a full blown adventure.  This particularly baffles my mind since,specifically in the one student, the adventure comes on so quickly and unexpectedly.

I am sure adventures with the other two students are inevitable.  I have to continue to celebrate our small successes.  One being that M's feeling choice went from being "content" every day to "happy" today!  Having our afternoon students get along, play together, and cooperate is a success.  Having only two adventures is a success.  I hope the successes keep coming....I know the successes will keep coming.

My principal has been amazing, supportive, and very vocal about what a good job everyone (we have lots of county workers in and out of the classroom) feels I'm doing.  I love the people and the school.  I'm still a little scared that I am in the honeymoon phase, like I got in at the middle school last year, and may end up hating this.  With that mentality am I bound to hate it?  Either way, part of me feels that but the other part loves it and feels like it could be the perfect fit for me.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I gave myself ulcers and won an award.

That came out wrong.  I didn't get an award for getting ulcers.  And I don't even really know if I got ulcers, but it certainly felt like it.  My stomach has been in knots for the entire week after an interview at an elementary school.  I've been talking since at least the beginning of 2011 about how I want to teach in an elementary school setting, not middle school.  I always felt that's where my heart was.  Anyhow, fast forward through two "failed" interviews to last Tuesday.  Basically my options were narrowed down between (um, this was the only interview scored since my last in April...I'm telling you it is HARD to score a teaching position these days) a new, challenging position at my middle school and the possibility of another challenging position at an elementary school.  Due to some changes at the middle school, I was weary combined with my desire for an elementary setting.  Between all of my anxiety, I accepted that whatever happened was meant to be.  Well, I found out today that I was offered the elementary position!  I'll bore you with more on that later, but I'm very excited!  It will be challenging, but it is also a great opportunity for me to have leadership and really shine.  I will be losing some of my summer because (and missing out on a group trip to NY, which I'm pretty bummed about) the school is on a different type of schedule, but I am THRILLED!

In actual award news, Amy, over at Juice Boxes and Crayolas, awarded me with this:

Thanks Amy!  Amy is a fellow runner and teacher!  I am constantly pinning her teaching posts and running posts as motivation and for tips.  Anyhow, without further ado (and probably many good pics since I am using D's computer):

Favorite Cartoon Character

Um, I seriously have to think about this one.  I am going to have to say...

Stewie Griffin; 

 Family Guy is about the only cartoon I watch and I haven't thought twice about Disney movies in quite a few years.  Although I totally want to race at Disney!

Favorite Thing to Photograph

 My favorite thing to photograph is definitely places we travel to.  My favorite, happiest memories are of traveling, and I love reliving those through pictures.  I'd probably say I have the most pictures of my pets though.

Favorite Thing to Cook

One dish wonders.

 D and I always joke about what my side is going to be because I usually don't have one.  I like to just throw everything in a bowl, dish, Crockpot, etc., and let it cook.  I'm not much of a multi-tasker in the kitchen.  I like my meals easy.

Favorite Exercise

 Gentle Yoga

While I do enjoy running and the way it makes me feel, it can still be a challenge to actually start doing it sometimes.  I love gentle yoga because it is so relaxing while it is an exercise.  Yogis out there would probably shun me for saying this, but it's the ultimate "lazy" exercise.  I hope to one day say running is my favorite...it's my #2!

Favorite Movie

I really have to think on this one too.  I have more favorite shows than movies.  I used to love Grease!  Now, I think I'd have to say...

Anchorman

"I'm Ron Burgundy?"  It never fails to make me laugh.

Favorite Article of Clothing

It's hard to think of just one thing...

Simple V-neck tee

They are comfy for every occasion.  I'm a simple girl, really.

Favorite Flower

Tulips, hands down.

Favorite Breakfast

I honestly love anything that D cooks for breakfast.  I'm not a huge pancake or french toast fan except for when he makes it.  When we go out, I typically order something with eggs over easy or poached...yum!

Favorite Book I've Read Recently

I didn't read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath super recently, but it's one that stands out to me. I really fell in love with this book.

Favorite Place to Be

 Duh, the beach.  Any beach...near, far, anywhere.  It is my ultimate relaxing place.  Those photos are from Aruba, where we eloped/honeymooned.

And One of my Choice: Favorite Drink

 Terrapin Wake-N-Bake Stout or a margarita!  Cheers :)

And I'm tagging...(only two because I'm lazy and this took a while):

Joanna at Drizzle of Sunshine

AND

Tyly at One Mile at a Time

Sorry if either of you has been tagged already! And all pictures are my own or courtesy of Google images.

Weighing-In :: Health updates

Nope, this is not posting on Wednesday.  I think we all know why that is.  The kids left off yesterday and the remainder of this week and part of next (until next WEDNESDAY!) consist of teacher workdays.  I love those.  It's so peaceful in my trailer with my music and the door open.  I get so much accomplished.  I'm not sure how to keep busy through Wednesday, but I'll make it. 

I wanted to update on running and weight.  I've been a little off with all the hecticness of school ending.  I stopped counting calories, and I may as well have quit the 30 Day Shred with only 3 days left to finishing it.  Needless to say, I hadn't weighed myself.  I hopped on the scale yesterday to a pleasant surprise...

7 POUNDS!  Haha...not in a span of two weeks, but since I've started really working.  Basically I checked myfitnesspal and I've been recording my weight since May 1.  Since that date, I've lost 7 pounds.  I feel amazing about myself.  I am below that "pre-Europe" weight from almost three years ago (wahhh...it's been three years since Europe?!).  I am crazy proud of myself.  I haven't measured, but I'm sure those numbers are down too.  My summer clothes are fitting looser (which is super important when showing more skin), and I'm feeling motivated to keep going.  This actually makes me feel like I can get to that goal weight. 

What can I attribute the lose to?  I assume primarily running.  I'm running/walking an average of 4 miles, 3 days per week training for my 10k.  This probably burns 300-400 calories on those days.  I know once I get back to the Shred and start Ripped, I'll see more of the tummy toning I want and more weight lose.  I'm happy to have this positive stepping stone going into summer when I have more time to focus on my weight and health. 

In running news, things are going well.  I'm loving my new shoes (which you'd know about if you followed me on Twitter, but I plan to do a full running post sometime next week).  I've ran two days at the gym due to the crazy heat.  I did want to throw out a possibly non-running related injury.  I've been having this pain right here in my hand:

When I grab things, like a jar by the lid, that muscle is painful.  My range of motion in my thumb has not decreased, but there is significantly more pain.  It makes things like shuffling a big deck of cards hurt.  The pain started around last Saturday.  I initially thought it was from holding my iPhone in that hand while running, yet the pain hasn't decreased since not doing that.  Could it be from writing?  Although I don't believe I've done more writing than usual.  Any ideas?

In other injury news, I've been bruising really easily lately.  On Monday at the waiver hearings, I had to carry this possibly 20 pound crate around with folders.  These are the battle wounds if you can see them:

Seriously, those are massive purple bruises on my upper thigh!  They're on both thighs but much worse on this leg.  I also noticed a nasty bruise on my butt after the wedding we went to two weekends ago.  I asked D if I fell or anything, but neither of us could remember anything.  Yikes.

I am so excited to post regularly again and have some free time for me!  Thanks for hanging in here with me through all the complaining, bitching, and crying.  Get ready for lots of updating! 

Validation

Is it sad that I got my first validation that 1) I'm a good teacher and 2) I got fucked over my first year tonight when presenting my wonderful kids to the "waiver committee?".

I know a lot of non-teachers won't understand this post, and even teachers not familiar with NC's process may not either. I just have to express how I'm feeling about today.

I mentioned that I have to take my kids who didn't pass the standardized test to be presented and "waived" of being held to the testing standard. I had 8 kids already pass through based on good grades and 8 more to present to the committee. Basically committees are made up if teachers from other schools in the county. They've been "trained" and hold the fate of my kids in their hands.

After having the blow of almost all my kids failing Reading and Math tests, it has been a shit storm of collecting work samples and paper work for 16 kids. I wad lucky that another teacher helped tremendously with some of my 7th grade kids.

Today, I was nervous. I have the most waiver folders. I had to carry around a huge crate to hold the work sample folders as well as each student's special education folder. I literally have massive, nasty bruises on my thighs from carrying it. I wad scared of not knowing what to say, of not having enough work samples, of forgetting something, and/or of my kids not being waived (which means they repeat their current grade). I had two students I was particularly worried about who didn't meet their "target score."

I was lucky enough to have another teacher sit in with me on the first meeting. I didn't say much, but the student was passed. After that, I was on my own. These are my babies! 8th graders, but they're still babies. We had our meetings with the parents who attended. I talked these kids up, and I talked from the heart. I know/knew them and my opinion mattered. After the first four meetings (with parents took place), I felt like I knew the committee, and I was comfortable. They passed on those four, and I presented the last four by myself.

I had mentioned that I don't fluff my kids grades. I teach small, "resource" classes which my 8th graders will not have in high school. They need to be prepared for the real deal. I use the same tests as the other classes. I don't fluff, but I allow them additional opportunities to even out their grades. The committee praised me for this. I felt validated.

I stared talking about my 3 preps (preparing for 3 curriculums to teach daily...language arts, 8th grade & 7th grade math). The committee was shocked. Then I mentioned I was a first year teacher. Double shock. Then that I'm a career switcher (no schooling in education or student teaching). Triple shock. One said, "And you're planning to teach again next year?!" Not to mention the crazy, too full, terrible behavior class. I felt validated.

Seeing all my kids' growth, even though they technically "failed" the tests, I'm overwhelmed with pride. They have made growth. I'm so proud of them. I'm so proud of me. No one has really validated my feelings or bitching this year (minus one teacher a while back). It felt wonderful to feel understood.

Today was a turning point. You know of my desire to teach at an elementary school. I connect so much better with that age group. There are still days, only in my language arts classes, that I think I want to/ could see myself doing this again next year. It would have to be different (no math?), but I know it'd be better. Today, I felt it two-fold. I have done a good job. I have succeeded through all the crap I've been placed in. I'm grateful I stuck through this year. If nothing, this feeling today is worth it.

Bravo if you read this entire, wordy post. I just had go document this emotional milestone.


-BlogPress post

It's all downhill from here.

I have my "waiver hearings" today for my kids.  The kids who had good final grades were all approved and "waived" from the test standard.  That leaves me with eight students to present today at the hearings.  Even though I completed all my work sample folders on Friday, I'll feel a huge relief once the hearings are done and over. 

To add insult to injury of this terrible, horrible, month/week/etc., I found out on Thursday that I had forgotten about my online summer class.  The class was practically THREE WEEKS IN.  Um, it's a five week course.  WTF?  Of course this resulted in frantically contacting the teacher to ensure she wouldn't drop me from the class, overnighting the textbook for $100+, and working all weekend on getting caught up.

This has been seriously one of the hardest, most stressful times in my life.  I have almost 900 unread blogs.  But I'm feeling much more positive!  I'm almost done with it all.  Then I'm going to finish my college coursework and be done with clearing my teaching license.  I'm still on the search to transfer to an elementary school, which has thus far proven unsuccessful.  I plan to ramp up my cover letter and continue that search.  I have a wedding in Alabama this weekend.  Then I promise to be back to the blogging world in full swing!

Thanks for all your kind comments, tweets, etc.  :)

I'm not quite over the hump.

By over the hump, I mean past the nightmare that is the end of this school year.  We have our first round of waivers (those nightmarish work sample folders - named for the fact that they "waive" students from the test standard) due on Wednesday.  I've barely done anything aside from getting the work together.  I have basically 7 to complete tonight.  Needless to say, I'm nervous, anxious, and stressed to the max.  After next Monday, it will all be over and I'll totally be over the hump. 

I promise I have lots to update on upon my return.  We went to Athens this weekend, I got some sweet new kicks, I bought D an awesome bday gift, we had a delish steak dinner, etc. etc.  I'm hoping to take one small day this weekend to hit up the beach and detox before possible misery of the final waiver day on Monday.  Then the next weekend is KD's wedding in Birmingham.  I just can't wait for some real solace from the madness.

Weighing in :: Life & weight.

This has been one tough week.  There's been tears shed (although more held back than shed), arguments due to my increased sadness and frustrations, and just plain lack of energy.  Wednesday we found out test scores.  I won't go into detail, but I think you can assume it wasn't good (those weren't happy tears).  Based on the students I teach, I should be looking at their growth (test scores from last year to this year), but for some reason it does not make me feel much better. 

I was feeling more positive yesterday after the parent phone calls were over.  Then I got my seventh grade scores.  This has been an extremely challenging and difficult year for me.  I've gotten little support from my administration and my teaching team.  I got stuck teaching three subjects, two of which I don't enjoy.  I got stuck teaching classes that were too big and having no inclusion (where I am a teaching support to another teacher) classes to learn from other more "seasoned" teachers.  I am a first year teacher with no prior experience teaching.  I feel as though I got punished for passing my teaching tests, while others were rewarded for failing.  I said before I feel like I was set up to fail. 

[I loved these books as a kid]

I know that I am strong though.  I will make it through the rest of this year.  Staying throughout the whole year has made me stronger.  I know that my attitude and urge to be in an elementary school has done little to help my situation this year.  I will make it through the next two weeks.  All I can do is keep working and cross my fingers in hope that I will find an elementary position where I can shine and better display my strengths.  If I am in the same position again next year, I KNOW I have a chance to succeed and my situation can only go up from here.

In much more positive and uplifting news (thanks for letting me vent.  I promise once the next 13.5 school days are over, I will be flying high on positivity!), I weighed myself on Thursday.  I was scared because 1) Wednesday had been an awful, stressful, depressing day and 2) we indulged in some Mexican food with beer to cope with my day.

   [You know I can't get enough cats on scales]

To my amazing surprise, I was down another 1.2 pounds!  This is probably the best thing about this week (aside from the fact that D is wonderful and is taking me camping at the beach this weekend).  This puts me at almost five total pounds lost.  I couldn't stop talking to D about it yesterday.  My motivation has been fueled!  

I am more motivated than ever to finish the Couch to 10k program.  I'm about to be on week 5.  It's the same feeling I have about running.  I've never fully followed or finished a running training plan, and I am determined to be successful.  I haven't felt much success in work this year, which is part of the reason I am feeling so motivated to be successful in running.  My breathing has been on par.  I do feel like I was thinking that the doctor would give me some magic pill where I could easily run 3 miles with no breathing hassles.  Um, hello.  It's called endurance.  Mine still needs to build.  I am starting to have increased pain in my calves.  I know part of this is related to my need for new shoes, but do any of you runners have problems with tight calves?

Sorry for the crazy text heavy post!  Thanks for bearing with me if you made it this far!

Everything will be ok.

I'm starting to feel myself spiraling.  I've mentioned a few times that this is the hardest part of the year for me, standardized testing.  This is stressful for a few reasons (I'm going to spit out some teacher jargon, my apologies):

• Many of my students do not test well and have a history of not testing well (not that I can blame them with the stress they put on these tests).
• If students do not pass the first time, they must be subjected to 5 hours of "remediation," listening to a teacher drone on about the subject per test.
• I teach two core subjects tested.
• Students who do not pass the re-test must have work sample folders (complied of not only work but a million other pieces of paperwork) made for each subject test not passed.
• I judge myself and my teaching ability on my students' success on this test even though I shouldn't.
• I got placed in a shit situation this year and feel like I was doomed for failure
• I might have 16 work folders to compile in one week.
• I might have to compile folders while also trying to plan for the remainder of the year and deal with crazy students.

I could probably go on.  Testing officially begins tomorrow, and I am a ball of nerves.  My students barely paid attention when reviewing and don't seem to care.  I drank too many beers alone this weekend.  I'm still trying to finish up last minute grading.  I'm bailing on the shred today and overate.  I'm afraid of how this week will affect my weight loss.

I looked to Weheartit to get some inspiration and push away a little of the stress and anxiety.

[I seriously feel like as a teacher, I need that tattoo on my wrist.]

[here]

 [here]

Everything will be alright.  I'll get through this no matter how many tears fall along the way.  I'll get right back into running tomorrow.  I just need to remember to maintain my routines and be strong.