I was feeling more positive yesterday after the parent phone calls were over. Then I got my seventh grade scores. This has been an extremely challenging and difficult year for me. I've gotten little support from my administration and my teaching team. I got stuck teaching three subjects, two of which I don't enjoy. I got stuck teaching classes that were too big and having no inclusion (where I am a teaching support to another teacher) classes to learn from other more "seasoned" teachers. I am a first year teacher with no prior experience teaching. I feel as though I got punished for passing my teaching tests, while others were rewarded for failing. I said before I feel like I was set up to fail.
[I loved these books as a kid]
I know that I am strong though. I will make it through the rest of this year. Staying throughout the whole year has made me stronger. I know that my attitude and urge to be in an elementary school has done little to help my situation this year. I will make it through the next two weeks. All I can do is keep working and cross my fingers in hope that I will find an elementary position where I can shine and better display my strengths. If I am in the same position again next year, I KNOW I have a chance to succeed and my situation can only go up from here.
In much more positive and uplifting news (thanks for letting me vent. I promise once the next 13.5 school days are over, I will be flying high on positivity!), I weighed myself on Thursday. I was scared because 1) Wednesday had been an awful, stressful, depressing day and 2) we indulged in some Mexican food with beer to cope with my day.
[You know I can't get enough cats on scales]
To my amazing surprise, I was down another 1.2 pounds! This is probably the best thing about this week (aside from the fact that D is wonderful and is taking me camping at the beach this weekend). This puts me at almost five total pounds lost. I couldn't stop talking to D about it yesterday. My motivation has been fueled!
I am more motivated than ever to finish the Couch to 10k program. I'm about to be on week 5. It's the same feeling I have about running. I've never fully followed or finished a running training plan, and I am determined to be successful. I haven't felt much success in work this year, which is part of the reason I am feeling so motivated to be successful in running. My breathing has been on par. I do feel like I was thinking that the doctor would give me some magic pill where I could easily run 3 miles with no breathing hassles. Um, hello. It's called endurance. Mine still needs to build. I am starting to have increased pain in my calves. I know part of this is related to my need for new shoes, but do any of you runners have problems with tight calves?
Sorry for the crazy text heavy post! Thanks for bearing with me if you made it this far!