I couldn't back out on my promise.

I told you guys (yes, my whopping 4 readers) that I would update today
re: family stories from the thanksgiving week in west Virginia. I'm
not going to go into all the dets of my week right now, but I have a
note about babies.

So I can't remember if I mentioned earlier that I spent a lot of time
around a 6-month and a 9-month old babies this week. D's cousin and
wife have a cutie little 9-month old baby boy. D's brother and wife
have a cutie little 6-month old baby girl. On a positive note, D was
so good with the babies. I never get to see him around babies and
when I do, he's usually awkward and doesn't pay them much attention.
In my opinion, he was completely different on this trip. He was so
good and playful with the babies. He wasn't awkward and weird. I was
proud; and feel a little more confident in his "dad" abilities if we
ever decide to have kids.

On the interesting note...both sets of parents were complete opposites
in my opinion. One set is the set that have been trying to have a
baby for a couple of years and probably more financially ready for
kids. The other couple is young, newlywed, and got pregnant on
accident. The parenting was obvious. The later couple seemed
stressed and almost uncomfortable the entire time. The previous
seemed happy and just wanted to be around their baby 24/7. The later
couple said "I'm just ready for her to be older." granted she did
mention how she knows she's supposed to love this age and time. My
point with all this being...I completely understand and support the
significance of both partners BEING READY to have a baby. We are no
where near ready (nor should we have to be considering I'm only 24 and
where not even newlyweds yet!)...emotionally or financially. And
yeah, yeah...they say you'll never feel completely financially ready
(aside from the fact that we both admit we're just too lazy and
selfish right now), but come on. Obviously we'd be better off with
some exta money in our savings and reliable cars closer to paid off.
Case-in-point...we are no where near ready. Again, let me
clarify...we are not and have not ever been considering children any
time soon. This just validates my ideals so I can defend myself
against KD and CAP when they mention that innate desire to birth a
child ;) But the babies were cute. It was a valuable experience at
least for me to see D in a child-friendly situation. Although...I
haven't changed. I was babied-out after the first night....

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Escape.

Surprisingly, it's been a little escape getting away to west Virginia
for the week. I haven't been stressing about money, jobs and moving.
I have been thinking alot about our impending elopement and party.
I'm ready to get back and really start planning the party (as scary as
the money aspect of that is). Which, on a side note...how ridic is it
that the AVERAGE cost of a wedding is like $23k. Come on. I know
girls dream about their wedding day and all...but don't they dream of
having a house and travelling too?! And how do families dish out
money like that? Although, I would still take having no school loans
over a wedding any day. People don't realize how amazing it is to
have parents with the financial ability to pay for college, cars,
weddings, etc. All of these financial strains certainly make money a
lot tighter for D and I beginning our married life together. And
although he is doing something he loves (and I hope to be very soon),
we don't get paid enough for what we do. Anyway...enough on that
tangent! It has been nice to not really stress about things. We've
had most of our meals cooked for us (yay for not eating out and
spending more money!) and I haven't had to spend my free time job
searching. Of course we've had the occassional "we're moving soon"
convo which reminds me of my impending job search and obligation...but
thank goodness for the break of writing cover letters and mailing
resumes (with very little luck). Tomorrow it's almost back to the
real world. I have to start reading my articles for my philadelphia
teaching fellows interview (next Saturday) and figuring out how in the
hell I'm going to be able to afford that. To be honest, the real
world does kind of suck. Especially if you're looking for jobs,
living paycheck to paycheck, and working in this economy. Granted, I
don't miss juggling school and work...which will prob be happening to
me again in the near future.

Anyway...I plan to update tomorrow on our ride back to GA about some
of the interesting family and baby stories from the weekend.

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Cheese factor.

Ok...be prepared for the typical cheesy "I'm thankful for..."
posting. I just figure I need something to bring me back to reality.
Those of you who are around me on a semi-regular basis know that I
often let what feels like a million tiny bad things overwhelm the few
big great things in my life. I used to say that I was
optimistic...but who am I kidding? I'm a combo, I think. I am
pessimistic but I do find it very easy to point out positive aspects
when i want to. So in honor of my pessimism and Thanksgiving, I'm
listing some aspects of my life that I'm grateful for:

1. My friends, family, and fiance: I'm so grateful for KD and CAP.
KD is my partner in judgement and laziness. She allows me to
continually be a Debbie Downer and keeps me company via gchat at
work. And she adores Lady Gaga...I think we were seperated at birth.
CAP is the most unique and wonderful friend. She continually
encourages me and reminds me of the positive in myself and others. I
love her stories and the way she texts me when she sees something I
write on facebook. I'm grateful for my supportive family and the
opportunity to live so close to them for so long. Amazingly grateful
for D, who is one of the biggest parts of my life. I'm grateful for
the ideals we share and the beer he brings home :). I'm really
thankful that our only committments together are pets and we have the
freedom to move, travel, and grow older together.

2. My health and well-being: I am happy that the first time I went
to the doctor in like 3 years was a couple weeks ago. I am thankful
that I have health insurance to pay for birth control (even though it
feels ridic expensive) and prescriptions. I'm thankful I have the
ability to be active (and need to utilize that more). I'm thankful
that my well-being is continually being lifted, after the end of a
draining work day, by my pets whom I love and adore.

Ok...seriously I want to continue this but I have to get back to fam
time! And iPhone blogging takes longer. Happy thanksgiving!

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I heart the holidays.

I know, I know. I've been so out of touch lately. I had a couple
blogs I started but just keep forgetting to finish them. D and I are
on our way to West Virginia now to spend Thanksgiving with D's
grandparents. I've never been to WV, so I'm pretty excited! I'm
grateful for D taking his truck and driving the 6 hours there and
back. D grew up in WV so he'll take me around to see all the sights
of his childhood. It is funny because, despite the fact that we've
lived together for over 2 years now, we'll have to sleep in seperate
rooms. Gotta love the old school, religious grandparents :)
I LOVE the holiday season. The changing colors of the leaves,
wreathes on the lamp posts, yummy foods, twinkly lights, everything!
There is just something so warm and comforting about the holidays.
Plus the additional time away from work is awesome. I'm still
completely clueless about what we're doing for Xmas gifts this
year...especially since I have to somehow budget in a trip to Philly
next weekend.
On a super exciting note, D and I found out that his parents are so
graciously giving us a week at one of their time share locales (Aruba?
Bahamas? Hawaii?) for our elopement! Yay! It's not the all-inclusive
idea that we originally had, buts it's a million times better than our
Hilton Head idea (which is really all we could afford). So onward
with eloping in February and partying in march! Which also reminds
me...I need to get serious about working out so I can shed some pounds
to look hot for our elopement ;)
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Weekend Update.

Eh...not too much going on this week.  I've been on call (which entails be keeping the oncall pager from Wed-Tues and being oncall for any child emergencies or other ridiculous things that the police decide to page us over for all hours of each night).  It's been stressful and frustrating actually.  I guess I can't really complain (who am I kidding, I totally can) considering I have typically had fairly easy on call weeks and it's practically only two weeks per year.  On the positive side, it got me out of tailgating ALL DAY and going to a football game tonight.  Don't get me wrong...it sounds like I hate it.  I am just happy to have a break, a relaxing weekend for the first time in what feels like a month.

Yesterday, D and I ate at Big City Bread Cafe for dinner.  It was really delish.  They have some awesome specials...but on our budget we opted for the lower priced sandwiches and a burger.  D loved the burger, and I got an awesome chicken sandwich.  For an app we had some delish mac and cheese.  We definitely plan to go back and split the 14oz pork chop!  Then we cam back and watched a movie.  I've been feeling sick though, so I bailed on D early :(

Today, D's been out tailgating and whatnot.  I've been RELAXING!  I'm still feeling a little sick...at least I woke up being able to breathe.  I still am suffering from a stuffy nose, cough, etc.  I slept in (until Bailey woke me up scratching at the door...grrrrr).  I ate some cinnamon buns D bought for breakfast (yum).  Watched a Law and Order.  Ate a mexican lunch with KayD.  Caught up on some dvr shows with KayD.  Now blogging and watching more L&O.  I'm sure I'll get some fast food later (just to pack on the pounds since I still haven't been working out...grrr...working out is another subject for another day).  I plan to do the same thing tomorrow except hanging out with D a little more. 

As for moving and the job search...I'm currently in the process of applying to some teaching programs.  I'm interviewing in December for Philadelphia Teaching Fellows, in January for Prince George County Teaching Fellows, and TBD for Baltimore Teaching Residency.  I'm considering AmeriCorps as well.  If anyone up north knows about any other teaching programs, non-profits orgs, etc. let me know!  D is being so supportive and flexible with moving locales.  I'm lucky to have him really :)  I suppose I need to start working on cover letters also.  THE HARDCORE JOB SEARCH BEGINS!

PS.  So freaking excited about LADY GAGA in December!

Fail.

Monumental disappointment and fail. It's the worst feeling. I've
been waiting to hear back about this program/job that I applied for.
The whole process was really long and stressful. Following my
interview, I had to wait like 3 weeks for a decision. Now I had been
trying to mentally prepare myself for NOT getting in the program. I
felt ready and had made tentative back up plans for not getting in
it. It didn't prepare me at all. After finding out yesterday that
indeed I did not get accepted, I lost it. There were so many mixed
emotions going on in my head...disappointment, frutration, stress,
etc. There are so many frsutrating aspects of finding out I wasn't
successful. First, I was frustrated with myself for allowing myself to
react that way. Next, massive frustration due to all of the energy and
stress I put in to the whole application process. Next, I'm annoyed
that I am right back to square one. D and I are no closer to figuring
out where we'll move or what I'll be doing next year. And I have to
go back through more application processes. And also there's the
frustration that comes with failure. D tried to tell me if wasn't a
failure....but it's certainly not a success.

After crying and being a mess last night, I woke up this morning and
literally thought it was a dream. I kept thinking I would get a "just
kidding, we rethought it and think you're a PERFECT fit for our
program" email. Yeah...not happening. I instead have the terrible
email they sent denying me. I intended to sit around and wallow in my
misery all day...instead I get the pleasure of being oncall for work.
Awesome. Currently sitting in the high school counselors' office for a
half hour waiting on a student. FML. I apologize for the depressing
post...although I think I deserve one. One day, I hope to have an end
in sight. An end to this draining job. An end to my time in Athens.

On a positive note, D has been supportive. I'm sure it's hard with the
pessimistic attitude I have going on right now. I appreciate him being
there for me though.

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TGIF!

I'm actually pretty pleased with how my week has ended...minus still feeling slightly overwhelmed with all D has planned this weekend.  First, I had a short work day due to all the overtime I've done throughout the week.  After coming in at 10, I had some excellent, exciting news regarding one of my cases (the one closest to my heart at that).  The news does involve me working more overtime and working on a Sunday...but TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY worth it.  I hope it all works out the way we all want...  Next, I found out the court hearing that I have spent all week preparing for (since this is a case that I am just handling while the other worker is on maternity leave) got continued.  For those unfamiliar with the world of public social services/foster care, it means the court hearing will not happen, I will not have to testify, and my stress preparing was unnecessary.  Although on the positive side, 1) I don't have to go to court and 2) I've better familiarized myself with that case.*  I'm just happy I don't have to deal with that.  Then, I got to leave work early and just chill for a bit.  I'm still tying up some loose ends of work stuff...but at least I'm home!

Now let's see...first things first...HALLOWEEN!  Now I'm not the biggest Halloween fan.  I feel stupid if I don't have something unique and fun.  My past experiences have shaped this idea.  Let me back track to mine and D's previous Halloween experiences:

• Year 1:  D and I are in Valdosta visiting.  We go down with no Halloween ideas and no costume stuff to even use.  Away from home you are forced to buy something.  We go to Wal-Mart (**shudder**) the day of Halloween.  Ok, every one knows shopping on the day of Halloween is terrible.  There's nothing good left.  D ends up getting this weird hat with a rat on top.  This is what I came out with:

 

Btw...one of the most disgusting pictures.  Why did I even wear the short sleeve shirt??  Why not a tank top?  It was a kids costume.  I thought it was cute at first, but by the end of the night I felt ridiculous and stupid.

D's costume.  Wow.

• Year 2:  Again, D and I go out shopping the day of Halloween.  I can not find anything decent that I would not feel like an idiot wearing.  We leave with nothing and I decide not to do Halloween (it is on a week night that year anyway).  D just finds some clothes in his closet and throws something on (sorry, couldn't find a picture of that, but trust me you're not missing anything).
• Year 3:  FINALLY we plan ahead!  I searched forever to figure out what to do.  Finally we decided on the Pac Man/Ghost gig.  It definitely made a world of difference being in a "cool" costume that people liked.  I loved it and I hope we re-use these:

• Year 4:  After asking D all month (and even sending along ideas), I never could get a solid idea from him.  So I decided to go forward with my idea for a solo costume.  I figured he could do whatever he wanted.  So Friday before Halloween, we go out to buy some basic supplies for my costume and look for something for D.  He thought about doing Peter Griffin from Family Guy or The Dude from the Big Lebowski.  So we checked out some places and couldn't find any solid clothes for D.  Then we hit up the Halloween store which we stayed at forever going back and forth between costumes for D.  Then we spent all day Saturday buying the rest of the supplies for my costume.  Final product:

D in all his glory

Hot air balloon and D after his costume fizzled.

I must say...it ended up being a fun night.  Not even kidding though...next year we are doing easy, bought out of the bag costumes.  Mine looks simple but it ended up being stressful and taking a while to put it all together.  And people were obsessed with D's costume, which he picked out the day before.  I also ended up with a massive hangover the next day.  I was literally in bed until 4pm.  It was bad.  So after a long post...I'm going to leave it at that and try to enjoy my busy weekend!

**Disclaimer:  For those that don't know, I work as a case manager/social worker with children in foster care, their birth parents, their foster parents, their adoptive parents, testify in court on behalf of all these aspects as well as dealing with anything else that involves all parties.  Try managing all of these parties for 15 children.  It's been a learning experience to say the least...**

All in due time.

I've been delaying posting so that I could post something quality. I
have just been swamped. All kinds of stress..work, moving, jobs,
stuff to do every single night of the week, work, money, work, etc. I
promise a quality post w Halloween pics (which sort of ended up being
a drama in itself), moving/job search updates (well that will probably
be next week), life news. I've got some elopement ideas that I want
to throw out also. I'm still in limbo about a lot of stuff but I owe
some good posts. Soon...

And ps. How freaking ridiculous that Christmas is less than a month
away? Freaking out.

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