Mixed reviews.

I know I'll probably get a lot of mixed reviews from this post.  I just need to vent on this.  I don't come from a family with a lot of money...scratch that.  I come from a family with no money.  That should probably be scratched too.  I'm lucky compared to many others.  I get that.  I grew up in a middle class family...always had food, clothes, a place to live.  We went on vacations, etc.  Have you ever just wondered what if you came from a family with more money?  If you know people that do, they usually don't know how good they've got it. 

My family couldn't afford to get me through college.  I now have 2 college degrees which technically I don't use (granted, I wouldn't have the job I have without one) and a load of loan debt.  My parents could never afford a "good" (compared to decent) car for me.  I have now been through three cars that died on me (and a lot of other crappy car situations which weren't a direct result of bad cars).  My family couldn't afford my elopement or wedding party.  We still got mostly what we wanted...our lives have just been stressful ever since then. 

Please don't misconstrue this as complaining.  I love my family and am grateful for what they have done.  I think of my friends that come from families with more money.  They don't stress over wedding money because they have a HUGE budget to work with.  They don't worry about how to fix their car when something major goes wrong because they can always turn to family in a bind.  Many times they don't have college loans, don't have that payment for years, and can pay for stuff easier as they grow older.  They don't always have to have a job or large savings when they quit a job because their families will help support them while they look.  If there is ever an emergency or great need they can go to family.

D nor myself have that luxury.  It is often frustrating.  As much as I have worked so hard to NEVER ask my family for money as I have graduated from college and become independent, it's frustrating when we feel like we have have no one to turn to in a time of need.  I often wonder how things would or could be different with a little more money.  A more frustrating aspect (and why I try to avoid ever asking my family for money) is the fact that my family tends to hold anything they give me over my head.  Nothing is ever seen as a gift.  We all wish we had more money...it doesn't make it any easier to deal with sometimes.  D and I will work really hard to build our own comfortable and happy living.

On another note, this is a reason why I never want to have kids.  I don't ever want to not be able to help my kids out.  I want to take them on wonderful vacations and support them through college.  If we can't do this comfortably...I don't want to do it at all.

Sorry for the downer post.  I'm just going through a weird time and feeling lots of stuff.  Promise for more uplifting posts this week!