Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My two cents :: Weddings.

I tell my friends (and so D tells me), I have LOTS and LOTS of opinions.  Of course my opinions don't always mean much to anyone other than me.  I don't really care.  I would like to think that my friends know me well enough to take my opinions for what they are worth and listen to my blabbing.  They'll project their opinions just like I do, and it leads to a fun night...hopefully :)

So on to my opinions on...getting married.  Close friends reading this should already know these opinions.  I'm going to be blunt here.  If you don't feel like hearing them again...STOP READING.  I know so many people getting married right now, it is sort of ridiculous.  What's more ridiculous are the ones who have been married and are moving on to baby making (don't even get my started on that right now).  You should all know that D and I eloped.  Never ever ever would I change what we did.  Ever.  Now I get the whole deal about weddings.  You dream of them since you're little...blah's the one day about YOU...blah blah blah.  Here is what I know/think about weddings that I don't think brides-to-be get:

  • It's not a day all about YOU.  It can be all about you and your hubby-to-be if you elope.  But if you're going to throw some big fucking thing with 10 bridesmaids, it will NEVER be all about you.  No one tells this to little girls as they fantasize this "perfect" day.
  • It will not go perfectly.  No matter how much you plan, how much you pay someone to plan, nothing ever goes perfectly.
  • The whole ordeal is DRAMA.  Everyone thinks they know best.  Your family wants this, his family wants that.  You can't pick your own bridal parties because everyone wants his/her brother, sister, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, cousin, cousin's girlfriend, etc. in the party.'s not all about you.
  • It costs a lot of money.  A lot more than you think.  That "perfect" wedding you've envisioned probably costs $100,000.  Props to you if you're parents give you that budget.  Props to you if your parents can give you anything at all.  For the record, I maintain that if I would have had a larger budget from my parents I would have still opted to elope (maybe just been a bit more elaborate and went somewhere different).  Don't forget about all the wedding showers everyone has to bridal luncheons, brunches, rehearsal dinner, etc. etc. 
  • It is way more stressful than you thought.  I only planned a party and that was stressful.
  • It ends up being more socialization than partying.  Now, this is speaking from experience.  BUT this is not to say every wedding is like this.  I ended up spending the majority of my time talking to family and friends I had not seen in a bit.
  • Don't expect everyone to give up massive amounts of money and time (including days off work) just for you.  It doesn't show if they are a "true" friend or not...some of us gotta make that dough (and keep it)!
  • 95% of brides I've spoken to say they wish they would have eloped (after it's all said and done)...but no one could have convinced them prior.
  • At the end of the're going to be married!  Don't stress about the small stuff or planning everything down to a perfect tee.  
Everyone is different.  For us, it was much better to not rack up a ton of credit card debt to throw a party.  We were confident in reading our vows to each other in a more private setting.  Some people want to declare their love in front of others...that's ok.  Some people don't mind spending their or their parents' money on a one day event.  To each her own.  Eloping worked for us...and I get it doesn't work (or no bride dare wants to hear that) for everyone.  It just seems to me that most brides don't know what they are getting into when they decide to start planning an actual wedding.  They should refer to my list and life would be easier for brides and bridesmaids everywhere ;)

I can say with confidence that my day WAS perfect and I would never take a "real" wedding instead.

Click to zoom :)

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