I've been thinking about how I write a lot about the bad days at school. It's not often that I write about my students, why I love teaching, and general relfections. It has been a difficult couple of months, and I've let the negative, hard days outweigh the rewards of teaching. It's unfortunate. I will really miss [some of] these students next year. I've been reading a couple of teaching blogs, and of course a great amount of literature for my college courses. I think a large aspect of my struggles this year can be contributed to the fact that some of the students lost respect for me. It was so hard coming into the school year mid-way and then trying to teach the students how/what to study for the standardized test but not knowing it myself. Since I didn't teach them the entire year and don't have educational backgrounds in math or language arts, I struggled. I also, part unintentionally, part giving up, let them get away with so much. Due to these and other reasons, I haven't really had the breakthroughs I may have hoped for.
BUT I'm not giving up! I know these students and myself can be a team and be successful. I've been brainstorming about how I can do things differently next year. I've been thinking up activities to kickstart the year. I want to really instill LEARNING in my students...not just memorizing for a test. I want to incorporate how we can relate the subjects to real world life and jobs. I'm in somewhat of a weird position being a new "lateral entry" teacher. I really hope I'm offered the ability to have my own classroom and not co-teach with another teacher. I hope that I have the opportunity to continue teaching Language Arts and hopefully Math. I struggled with Math this year, but I have some great ideas about making it better next year.
I've been thinking a lot about teaching high school. I think if we move and/or I ever start looking for another teaching opportunity, I would be much more open to the idea of teaching in a high school. Here's to the summer, but here's to a new beginning!