Sunday, October 25, 2009

Let's Break It Down.

The weekend has been eventful.  I went to a birthday party for my adorable sister, MGK, who turned 7!

MGK at Christmas 2008.


MGK, June 2009

Since my camera is broken, I wasn't able to take any pictures of MGK at her birthday this year.  I can probably gank some from my mom after she posts them.  Rest assured, she took PLENTY of pictures.  So we had a combo birthday party for MGK and an ex-aunt whom my mom has reconnected with.  We ate some kick-ass nachos, which were probably the higlight of the evening for me (big surprise it was food?!). 

Saturday we had some friends over and grilled out.  We ate racks of lamb, baked potatoes, cous cous salad, and Terrapin/Left Hand Depth Charge floats.  Yum!  We also played three rounds of Clue.  I forgot how much I miss playing board and card games.  D won two rounds, and yes, I won one round!  BAM!  I can be good at games ;)  Today, we are about to head out to serve Terrapin at some wine festival.  I am hoping to also knock out some grocery shopping afterwards so we can have some freaking healthy food in this house again! I've had some major life changes on my mind.  Recently I've been talking about big changes in my life.  Pretty much everyone, including my current bosses, know that I am searching for another job.  One main reason for this being that D and I are going to be moving soon with his job.  Since I haven't found my passion to be in the work of public social services, I am attempting to pursue teaching.  I really think that teaching is where my heart is.  I want to work with kids to be successful in education.  I am working on some things to try and get a job opportunity in teaching, but there is no guarentee.  D and I have been talking recently about looking for jobs and such.  I attempt explaining to him that I think it will be quite difficult for me to find a job in teaching or even public social services.  Blame the economy, I know.  I mean at my current job, we've been in a hiring freeze for as long as I can remember.  I try to explain to D that it will most likely be quite difficult for me to find a job because there are no jobs out there now.  D says, "there's always jobs.  There's the service industry."  I say that I have no experience in the service industry and people with experience will always get the job over me.  D says, "I could probably get you a job at _____________ in Raleigh."  I obviously have mixed feelings about this.  1) I am grateful that D would help me in getting a job, but 2) I do not want to move to NC to work at another job that I dislike.  The conversation continues as we drive to Kroger.  We pass a person sitting on the side of the road, holding a sign to advertise for the local Halloween store.  D says, "See you could always get a job doing that."  Wow.  No words.  I would go back to school (and inevitably raise my school loan debt) before I would take a job sitting on the side of the street holding a sign.  This whole conversation actually increased my job search though.  I have started putting out applications and feelers for different stuff to get into.  I'm nervous though.  I'm nervous that the potential stuff I am working on will fall through and I will be back to square one.  I am nervous that nothing will work out, that I will be stuck in the south with another job I hate.  I am nervous that I will never be able to pursue/achieve my dream of teaching without incurring endless amounts of more school loans (no one wants to know how much I already have...and keep in mind this was to achieve degrees that I no longer want to utilize).  I guess all I can do it keep trying.  Put in applications and work towards what I really want to do.  It is also way more difficult to apply and interview for jobs when you live out of state.  Sigh.  The thought of it all is stressful and overwhelming.  One thing I do know: I definitely want to move and I definitely want to move with D.  I have to be confident that things will work out for the best (or at least the way they are supposed to).  At least I have D to embark on whatever kind of journey/adventure is in store for us.  I am happy that he has a job he loves.  If nothing else, I know how important it is to do something you love.  It definitely affects quality of life when you don't enjoy the job you work.  Patience is a virtue, right? 

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