My two cents :: Babies

Ok, I went through this phase where I was anti-weddings/marriage back in 2007-2009?  Fast forward to 2009, D and I got engaged.  I’m still pretty cynical of weddings for a number of reasons, which explains why D and I “eloped.”  I like to think I’ve matured a bit and have come to enjoy weddings as a time to drink have fun.  

D and I attended quite a number of weddings last year.  I can not exactly remember how many weddings, but I think we ended up counting six?  

 [KD's wedding in June 2011]

[B&M's wedding]

They keep coming, but we’ll go to significantly fewer this year than last.  Just when I thought weddings were dwindling and we were coming into an era of enjoying newlyweds and less wedding gifts, it begins.  The era of babies.  Now my thoughts on bringing another living thing (pets included) into our little family remains the same as it did two years ago.  I’ve bitched on twitter  quite a few times about the overwhelming amount of ultrasounds posted on facebook recently (although I genuinely thank CAP for not posting hers), and don’t even get me started on the scariness that is 3-D ultrasounds.  Between real-life friends, blogger friends, and social media, I think half the people I know are pregnant.

I should have seen it coming.  I should have been prepared.  Nonetheless, I’m not.  I’m not ready for crying babies to be taking over hang out time with friends.  I’m not ready for beer tastings with D to be accompanied by babies.  I’m not ready to be continually bombarded by a million pictures of babies on every social media outlet I have.

My bitchiness aside, I actually do enjoy watching the changes in those with babies.  Claire has the cutest family, and I genuinely enjoy reading about the ups, downs, and in-betweens of her life as a stay-at-home mom.  I even enjoy watching her little one grow and develop.  I am excited to attend my first baby shower for CAP and her little one on the way.  I hope I can find the time to make something for the little babe.  It can be amazing to read birth stories (although they still sometimes make me cringe a bit and continually increase my fear of ever birthing a child) and hear how mothers’ hearts grow ten times that day.  I guess I am maturing a little bit and accepting the age of the babes in my life.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’ll enjoy the tiny ones in others lives…D and I are quite content spending our income enjoying beer and travels for now.

Numbers for thought.

We all know insurance prices are continually increasing as are our taxes.  The costs of everything are going up while salaries are being docked.  As a previous state-funded social worker and now county-funded teacher, my salary will never be high.  That's expected.  I'm not as concerned about my salary as I am the well-being of the children we are teaching.  My school is pretty well off and lucky.  Other schools in my own county are not.  My county just built a brand new high school that is equipped with about every school luxury.  Yet other high schools in the district have zero access to laptops in the classroom, stuck sharing trailers, and the teachers are lucky if they have overheads to use.  Monies for school budgets are continually being cut.  I can't understand where our country's priorities lie when I see numbers like this:

As a nation, we’ve spent over $732 BILLION dollars on the war in Iraq. If you add the cost of the war in Afghanistan, we are WELL over $1 TRILLION. (http://costofwar.com/)

We spend over $113 billion dollars a year on illegal immigrants. (http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/illegal-immigration-a-113-billion-a-year-drain-on-us-taxpayers-97879144.html)

Even more outrageous, the city of Philadelphia cut their budget for fireworks from $3 million to $2.1 million this year. Oh how sad for them.... Boston spent $2.5 million, and DC won't even release the information on their show. (http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/the-most-extravagant-fireworks-displays-on-july-4th/19535837/)

Tiger Woods will earn $110 million this year, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan and Kimi Raikkonen will all earn $45 million each. Even Dale Earnhardt will bring home a cool $34 million. (http://www.gkmen.com/sports/north-american-sports/who-are-highest-paid-athletes-2010190210)

 [Research credited to: Middle School by Day]

I know no country is perfect...but when I see numbers like this, I am more and more encouraged to move to another country (Netherlands? Switzerland? Belgium?) who seem to think more level-headed.

My two cents :: Morals and religion.

That's right.  This post is getting serious.  I don't like to get too serious...but sometimes I like my pedestal and to just talk with no one talking back.  Beware...this is a lengthy post.

Stepping back on to my pedestal...

I grew up mostly in a pretty non-religious family.  We basically went to church on holidays and the odd occasion.  When I was partially through high school, they discovered (were "converted," brainwashed, whatever you may...) a local church.  I think they were invited by a work friend or something.  For whatever reason adults feel the need or desire to become involved in organized religion, they did.  The next thing I knew, I was being thrown (almost unwittingly) into this new "Godly" lifestyle.  Now I don't remember if I was given the option to start going to this church or if I was required to by my parents.  Regardless, at the time I didn't mind too much.  It was a group of new "friends" who accepted me (come on...high school was still an awkward time of fitting in and figuring ourselves out).  I still didn't want to drop all the school friends for the church friends but couldn't really combine the two.  It resulted in more difficulties with trying to mesh and balance the two groups.  

As I went to college, I became intertwined with a "college group" of kids from the same church.  Throughout that first year, I had a tight knit group of good friends.  Something did not quite feel right for me though.  I played the part well (don't we/they all?).  By my second year of college, I started separating myself from the church crowd.  This caused I'm sure a lot of prayers from them about me and tension between my parents and I.  Long story, short(er)...I stopped going to that particular church as did my parents a short time later.  Seems some things came to light for them as well.  I ended up having a summer of newly found "freedom" and fun.  I think it was the rebellion and partying of my freshman year that I never got.  I ended up dating D, and my parents temporarily found another church.  They made/enticed me to "try" this new and improved church.  I remember leaving D's apt. on a Sunday morning to meet them at church.  It lasted longer for them than me.  I think I ended up somehow making a bargain with my parents as to how not to go anymore.  

By this time, I had developed a lot of my own ideals about life, living, people, etc.  Of course since then, I have developed many more thoughts on life, living, and people.  Personally (and in no way forcing my ideals on others at this time), I do not believe in religion (although some would concur that the non-belief in a god/gods, etc. is a "religion").  I really hate how people (including me back in the day) just accept and believe things without research and questioning them.  I can not stand people (of any religion) using "values" from their religion as a basis for doing wrong, denying people rights, etc.  I especially hate this argument being used in a political arena.  I do NOT hate people who follow or believe in a religion.  I would like to hear the argument that shows me proof that Christianity is RIGHT and all other religions (Islam, etc...which many oddly share similar stories) are wrong.  I would like to hear the argument as to why it is ok for Christians think they can follow some of their sacred Bible and not all of it.  I only use Christianity as an example here because so many people in the US. characterize themselves as Christians.  There's a lot I would like to hear.  Here are a couple of really interesting books I've found questioning religion and Christianity:

Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris is my current read.  His book is pretty much a letter addressed to Christians.  Obviously he questions a lot of the motives and theories behind Christianity.  Here's a quote from his foreword,

“Thousands of people have written to tell me that I am wrong not to believe in God. The most hostile of these communications have come from Christians. This is ironic, as Christians generally imagine that no faith imparts the virtues of love and forgiveness more effectively than their own. The truth is that many who claim to be transformed by Christ’s love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism. While we may want to ascribe this to human nature, it is clear that such hatred draws considerable support from the Bible. How do I know this? The most disturbed of my correspondents always cite chapter and verse.”

My first ever read on non-religion was God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens.  I love this book.

It says everything so well and in ways I never could.  It should be my Bible ;)  This is an amazing book with lots of thorough research and knowledge.

Again, I have nothing against any of my friends or those I know who follow a religion.  I understand why people want and need religion.  In my humble opinion, I just do not agree with any of it.  I do not want or need it in my life.  I'd love to have the thoughts and comments of any of you, who do characterize yourself as following a religion, who may have read either of these books or similar.  Since I am semi-hypocrite right now, I have not yet sought out books that (almost) directly oppose the thoughts and ideals in the above books.  Please let me know of any books that do provide evidence and research to disprove these books. 

Ok...if you made it through the monster post and are considering no longer reading my blog....it's up to you.  I promise, I RARELY post (full posts that is) on such touchy subjects...

For those of us who do not give a crap about Twilight...

D, my sister, Maggie, and I went to see Toy Story 3D last night. 

That's right.  It was good, cute, whatever.  I'm consistently unimpressed by the 3-D fad.  If you're going to make a movie in 3-D, make it worth the extra $5 I have to spend.  Don't even get me started on the Harry Potter Half Blood Prince 3-D IMAX debacle.  I wanted to cry for wasting my money on that shit.  I want things flying off the screen at me!  Some of the previews have had better 3-D effects than the actual movies.  Cinema better start upping their game or everyone will end up buying the 3-D tvs and no one will waste their money on the movies.

**Ps. I refuse to ever give a crap about Twilight.  Those books sound more and more fucked up every time I hear something about them.  As appealing as the previews may be on the big screen...I will never give in.

Back to school for teachers...or dummies?

I've mentioned before that after I got my Masters, I vowed never to go back to college.  If you majored in some sort of social science major, you are most likely familiar with the ridiculous "ice breakers" and get to know you games that are a fad in college.  They make me want to barf.  I mean I hate them.  My hatred of any type of public speaking and general lack of caring to know anyone in my class that I didn't already know (I know you bawk at the fact that I work with people on a regular basis) pretty much attributed this annoyance.  Well...

Welcome Back!

And take a guess what my first two assignments are.  INTRODUCTIONS.  My first class is online, but the teacher insisted on making our first assignment an introduction.  Not only will we not meet these people during the short summer semester, but we practically have to write our life story.  One of the questions was "What movie or book would best describe you?"  Seriously?  You've got to be kidding me.  For my face-to-face class that starts in mid-June, our first assignment (we literally have to bring it on the first day) is a decorated poster about ourselves.  Our name has to be large on it, and it should be decorated with pictures and info about us.  Am I in kindergarten?  No one will remember/care about my poster.  Geez...welcome back to "college."

Politics these days.

There's some ridiculous shit going on these days.  Oil spills.  Outed gay conservative ministers.  More Catholic priests molesting children.  Sarah Palin.

Since I have a 30 minute commute to school every morning, I listen to NPR.  I don't have time to watch CNN in the am, so NPR is a great way for me to keep up on my news.  One issue (that's a little old I know) is the Arizona immigrant laws.  So awful.  There's been a lot of feed back on the issue.  Of course, I can not agree with this blatant form of racism.   I'm disappointed that as a country we have not evolved beyond this point...

[WGB]

My two cents :: Becoming homeowners.

D and I have been thinking, talking, etc. a lot more about buying a house.  Since myself, as well as many of my other friends, are growing up, getting married, and making major life decisions, I've been having all kinds of adult conversations.  D and I bought our first car together at the beginning of this month.  Now neither of us have stellar or "important" credit that agencies look at when approving you.  We're pretty excited about having our payments on the car boost our credit and get us in better shape for a mortgage.  Whoa.  I mean we are REALLY adults...buying cars, rationalizing our credit scores, thinking about mortgages, etc.  I never thought I would be thinking so much about buying a house.

Now I think boys have a different mentality on house buying that girls (or maybe just girls like me who are super afraid of such a HUGE financial commitment).  For D, he is anxious to buy a house because he despises the idea of "throwing away" money on rent.  My mind is more worried about the money it would cost us, and not a landlord, to fix anything that went wrong around the house, buying a washer and dryer, etc. etc.  Once I made THE big commitment of marriage, maybe I started thinking a little more about long term plans like owning a house.  The move to Raleigh really started getting me excited about exploring a figuring out areas in town where we may like to live in the future.  So....I've jumped on board with the house search (not that we are seriously searching or even close to buying a house).  We still know absolutely nothing about buying a house. 

It's funny how things change though.  When the idea of buying a house in Raleigh was thrown out (before we even moved here), I was thinking we'd probably want to look in a surrounding county of Raleigh.  Why?  I work in a surrounding county so my commute would be lessened.  Cheaper houses.  Better schooling system (if kids were ever in the picture).  You get the idea.  This was before we moved here.  We decided to rent a house really close to downtown Raleigh, which is where we are living now.  I absolutely adore the location of our house.  As far as we can tell, the neighborhood is pretty safe, and we haven't had any problems thus far.  This is what I am talking about with things changing.  After we moved here and I've lived in this area, I would never want to live anywhere different.  Now, I will note that I think we are at a unique point in our lives.  We're married, but we are still young.  Kids are no where near the forefront of our minds.  D works for a beer company, and we go out a lot.  That being said, I could not imagine having to drive 20 minutes to get to some of our fav downtown bars and restaurants.  I wouldn't exchange a lessened commute for living farther from the downtown area.  For me, I learned the importance of living somewhere first before making a commitment to buying a house.  This is not to say that in three years I wouldn't change my mind since we may be in a different place in our lives.  If that is the case, we may very likely be shit out of luck if the housing market still hasn't picked up and we own a house near downtown.

Another conflict though is our small budget.  Now we have obviously driven around some of the areas near downtown.  Let me tell you...most of the houses are fucking huge!  I mean we obviously have not started pricing houses, but I'm not sure that it's even likely that we could afford a decent house near downtown.  Find a foreclosure?  Eh...this post is getting too adult for me.  But my two cents is that I'm glad we have six months or more (our lease is six months and we'll renew every two months) to check out the area and decide what our best house options are.

*Oh, and it should be a given that this is MY two cents...it doesn't mean it applies to everyone.  Opinions and advice are welcome :)

My two cents :: Choices.

This quote from Sesh really got me thinking.  Well not so much thinking...but it totally embodies my mentality on life.  I mean to get all deep here...I'm definitely of the opinion that I don't regret the "mistakes" I've made.  They have made me who I am today.  I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that not everyone will accept and like that person that I am today.  I can't appeal to or please everyone.  What I can do is be happy with me and keep learning from those mistakes AND successes.  I'll always keep evolving, learning, and growing.

It's got me thinking about the person that I was at 18, 19, 20.  Now at almost 25, I'm still discovering myself.  At 18 and 19, I thought I had everything in order.  I knew what career path I want, I graduated with my Masters degree in 5 years.  I was "passionate" about things.  I wanted nothing more than to get away from the town and state in which I grew up.  Yet today, I am not following that career path that I "knew" I wanted (which is in turn resulting in my return to school...which I said I'd never do).  I am married to someone who grew up in the same town as me.  I actually am passionate about things that I believe in and feel deeply about.  I'm still learning about myself.  I'm learning to love myself and be confident in my beliefs, my body, my knowledge.  I'm learning to love activities that I never thought I would.  I'm learning that it's a lot harder to move to a new place that I thought, but I'm grateful to have my best friend to do it with.

My choices from my early college years has certainly made me who I am.  And I am happy with who I am.  I am happy knowing that I will keep changing and growing.

That's right!

[Perez Hilton]

That's right...if it's one thing I can't stand...it's people dishing out $1000 on a "purebred" dog or cat.  Shelter animals are so awesome!  Seriously, the best pets I know of (including my own) are from shelters.  Now this obv isn't to say that all shelter animals are awesome.  I can understand if people have allergies to pet hair and whatnot...but there are always rescue agencies.  Just think of all the animals that die every year, or how many you could have at least helped, when you're dishing out the bucks for a purebred.  

* And of course, no real offense to those reading who have purebreds...but I do judge you.  And there is no way that you can convince me that it is better or smart to dish out that much money for a pet when there are so many available in shelters.

Dreams of wedding RSVP's and middle school kids.

Seriously.  Last night I dreamed that I got a slew of wedding party RSVP's (on our website) saying people couldn't come.  Upon closer look, I realize these RSVP's are from people who I did not even invite.  Thank goodness they weren't coming.  The stress is getting to me.  Also, someone did RSVP that they couldn't come (uh...thank you to all those who have RSVP'ed in some form), so I imagine that's where that part of the dream came from.  Another part of my dream was going to some weird activity at the middle school where I am going to be teaching.  For whatever reason, D was with me.  In the dream I remember thinking that these kids were younger than I remembered middle schoolers being.  In reality, I emailed back and forth with the teacher I am replacing today.  She says the kids are really excited to meet me and have a 100 questions for me.  I can't wait to enter the new world of middle schoolers (...well I can wait, but I'm excited for something new).

[Google]

I am slowly trying to mark things off my ever growing to-do list.  I had a mini freak out on Sunday night about how much stuff I had to do before we leave for Aruba on March 6.  I made a handy iPhone list (for easy accessibility to mark off and add on wherever I am).  I'm trying to focus only on things that need to be done pre-Aruba.  The party stuff will just have to take a back-burner.  The list is definitely grounding me and keeping me clos(er) to sanity.

This weekend is my BACHELORETTE PARTY!  I'm definitely excited.  My friend, RR, is coming in town from NYC.  I haven't seen her in so long!  I was kind of bummed when some people bailed on the weekend.  I'm slowly trying to get over it.  It's just so funny how boys and girls are different.  I have a small group of girlfriends that I consider myself to be close with.  Those are the girls I invited to my weekend get together.  D, on the other hand, invited like 15 guys or something to his party.  I have come to realize that I also just guard myself from getting to close with girls.  When I do open myself up, the second someone does something that hurts my feelings, I shut down.  I've been reading Odd Girl Out (more on that later) and realizing how terribly girls and women handle conflicts.  It's terrible for me to be all passive aggressive and stop talking to them.  How is it beneficial to not discuss the issue?  This should be a separate post in itself.  Anyway, I'm excited for a chill weekend in a cabin with a hot tub, wine, and some of my fav girls.  I'd much rather have a smaller, more intimate get together.  I hope it's a wonderful weekend of "single" debauchery :)  This is the cabin we're staying in

And SO SO SO grateful for CAP and KD who arranged this awesome weekend, reserved the cabin, and are certainly not bailing on me!  Even if it ended up being just the three of us, I'd be happy.  Yay!

What a dummy.

Ok...So I really don't like to give Heidi that much more attention than she deserves/is famewhoring for, but I couldn't help but make mention of this.  Check out this article Perez Hilton posted.  Go ahead...it's super short.  Ok, now that you've read it.  This is the quote that gets me...

"Heidi revealed that she opted for plastic surgery after being teased as a kid and being insecure about her looks. 'It always kinda held be back from a certain inner light and an inner happiness.'"

 I get that being teased about certain things can stick with you forever.  Totally and completely get that.  But isn't Heidi all Jesus loving?  Shouldn't Jesus or god or whomever deity be giving her that "inner light and inner happiness??" Sounds a little hypocritical to me Heidi.  Or maybe it just supports what I said before.  Don't get me wrong...I get that you can be unhappy with yourself even if you ARE getting your inner light from Jesus or something.  I would just like to think that getting big, nasty, fake boobs doesn't give anyone an inner light or happiness.  Heidi...she's delusional.  More and more she says things that support what a dummy I think she is.

Can we say trashy.

Not even kidding...this is disgusting.

I mean ew times a million.  And this is why I was always a Lauren Conrad fan...not Heidi.  Ick.  I don't think Jesus would approve of that.  Why can't we be content with our own bodies?  I'm working hard to get my body in better health and at a weight that I should be closer to for my height.  Yeah...I could probably use a little boost in the chest area, but I guarantee you no one cares about that but me (and we all know the wonders of a good bra).  I understand some people want to fix things to feel better about themselves.  I also understand that a boost in self-confidence can do wonders for girls and guys alike.  But I think most of us will agree Heidi has always been trashy since being with Spencer.  And a plastic surgery addiction (I mean geez, we all know how much it costs to get procedures!) is something to be concerned with...not flaunted.

Picture and article courtesy of Perez Hilton 

I try not to talk much about my religious/politcal/otherwise views.

But it is my blog and I figure I can.  These are things I am passionate about.  Obv it's not like I'm trying to push my thoughts on anyone else because I could care less if you read or leave.  I'm not one to get into long winded, no-win conversations about my views because I'm not very good at defending myself.  I feel strongly about somethings but that's just the way I feel.  I don't always have good justification for them.  I was reading one of my new fav blogs Blackberries to Apples, and one thing stuck out to me.  I was reading this post and love this little nugget of wisdom:

"There's a reason I've always had a problem with Christianity, and my reason is this: I've never been able to marry myself to the idea that what I need to achieve true personal happiness is anything separate and outside of myself. And the more I live, the more I think I'm probably right."

I like to agree with that.  I had an experience when D and I were in Europe.   We met a couple who had been on a mission trip for a while.  They were wrapping up the trip and had taken a weekend off to go to Switzerland.  They were extremely friendly and we had some good conversation.  Then you knew it was coming...their life changing experience with Christianity.  Ok.  No problem with them sharing their experience.  Of course the question was pondered, "what about you guys?"  D always has his typical "I was raised Southern Baptist" blah blah story.  Then...heads turn...my turn.  I guess I felt on the spot, but I let it right out.  I don't believe in that [in God].  Now, like I said...I'm not good at defending my position.  I agree with everything I read in books, hear, etc., but I just can't retain it.  Ok, ok...I'm getting to the point of the entire story.  Of course discussion of our back home professions happened.  After talking about how I work with foster children but really want to be a teacher, the couple twists it all around.  They decide that I obviously have a god-like heart (or some bullshit of this nature) because of my desire to work with and help children.  WTF?  Just because I want to work with kids does not mean I am like a god or Jesus or whatever.  It infuriates me to no end that people think you can only do "good things" if you are motivated or pushed by religion.  My morals and values and desires are based on me.  What makes me feel good, what I want to do for others, what I think it right.  People do not have to be motivated by religion or some outside deity to do good things.  Again, I'm probably not defending my stance enough.  I'm sure I'll talk again on my views on organized religion and my qualms with it.  For now...I'm just giving a little bit of my two cents.

Go to this post and read more of the great and insightful thoughts.  Ps. I couldn't agree more about trust and cheese.