Monday, July 12, 2010

Our little family.

My brain had been crazy lately.  I've been having the freakiest dreams including all sorts of celebs...Sex and the City girls, Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber (wtf??).  Last night I had a dream where I went to this bar/music venue and came in contact with a lot of people I haven't seen or necessarily thought of since high school and early college days.  It's been strange.  Maybe these are things my brain wanders to when I don't have all the school and work stress?

Another place my mind has been wandering to is our family.  I love our little family consisting of me, D, and our four pets.  I have absolutely no desire (actually it's practically a fear) of expanding our family anytime soon....or even ever?  Four years ago, I was freaked out by all the people I knew of getting married (um hello...I was only 21 then!).  Right when I progressed passed the freak out of that and got married myself, it seems like over 50% of the people I know started getting pregnant.  My facebook is overwhelmed with pictures of people's babies or their pregnant bellies (ew) or a status about how many weeks along they are or other baby/child related thing.  I'm freaked out by it.  I still feel like I am so young...with so many things to do in my life!  I haven't traveled to wine country or New Zealand!  It takes me long enough to get myself sunscreened up and packed to head to the beach for the day.  It takes all my energy to head to school, work all day, work out, and then (maybe) cook dinner.  I want to spend money on plane tickets and clothes.  D and I live in a beer centered world.  I don't want to spend my nights with baby while he goes to beer events. 

Can you picture me dealing with this in a bar? [Google images]

This is not on my life list right now.  Maybe I don't understand this "joy" associated with motherhood?  Maybe I'm cynical and come across as a baby hater.  I just am only 25 and still selfish with my personal time.  I also work with kids for my job (which I adore) and that's enough kid time for me.  Maybe one day I'll outgrow my selfishness...not crossing my fingers it won't be anytime soon.

And I'll continue to dote on friends' babies...but I may not offer to babysit ;)   

3 comments:

Bleed to Love Her said...

You have no idea how much I agree with all of this! While I got married at 22, I still have no want for kids. I love my niece and nephews, and all of my friends kids, but i don't want any of my own.

Autumn Nicole said...

I've dated several guys with kids, and I just never felt a strong maternal instinct while I was around them. I find myself avoiding men who have kids now. I LOVE kids, but like you, I'm not ready for them yet.

Exploring Woods said...

ha! Just saw one of your older posts, which led me to this one. I toootally agree, and I feel like somewhat of an odd-ball or insensitive that I don't want kids, but I really don't want them! Not anytime soon, if ever...I'm thinking never. And if we do, we're adopting. Kind of feel like a jerk for it, but I don't have time for the things I want to do now, much less add babies to the mix.

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